This pragmatic article presents eleven ways to accept yourself. It provides a practical guide to self-discovery and self- acceptance.
The importance of self-acceptance cannot be over-emphasised as the acceptance of oneself is the first stage in the attainment of the Holy Grail of Self Discovery.
Understanding Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance means accepting who you are complete, from the inside and out, both positively and negatively.
Self- acceptance is the key to overcoming self- esteem and body image issues. Self-acceptance is something we can nurture for it’s the ability to unconditionally value all parts of ourselves.
When you can accept yourself and your differences, it will come more naturally for others in your life to accept you, as well. Look at it as a skill that you can develop and practice versus an innate trait that you either have or don’t.
Accept Yourself – There Are Two Sides to Every Coin
As a human being, you tend to only want to have positive qualities, but you will encounter a lot of suffering if you do not accept your negative qualities because they are a part of you.
When something is already a part of you, it is difficult to change or get rid of it.
Just like everything under the sun, there are two sides to everything and everybody. An understanding of this fact of nature would enable an individual to accept one’s positive and negative qualities.
So, if you want to keep and be at peace with your positive qualities, you have to acknowledge and accept your negative qualities. You cannot have one without the other.
Thus, if you try to denounce the negative qualities, the appreciation of your inherent positive qualities will be skewed.
Always know that as a human being, you cannot be perfect, which means you have negative qualities. It does not matter what you do, you will always have some kind of negative qualities.
The more you put yourself down for your negative qualities, the lower your self-esteem.
Eleven Ways to Accept Yourself
Let’s plunge right into it. Below are the eleven practical ways by which you can accept yourself:
- Set an Intention
“Self-acceptance begins with intention.” We must be intentional in our quest for shifting our paradigms, from a world of blame, doubt and shame to a world of allowance, tolerance, acceptance and trust.
This intention acknowledges that self-loathing simply doesn’t lead to a satisfying life.
“If I set my intention that a life with self-acceptance is far better than a life of self-hatred then I begin a chain reaction within my being geared to a life of peace”.
- Shush your Inner Critics
Many people equate their inner critic with a voice of reason. They think their inner critic is simply speaking the truth. But if you wouldn’t say it to a loved one, it’s not honesty or sincerity.
It’s unwarranted — and harsh — judgment.
To quiet your inner critic, select a mantra that is normalizing, calming and encouraging during times when the inner critic rears its ugly head.
For example, you could use: “I am only human; I am doing the best that I can and that is all I can do.”
Always remember, “Our mistakes and our imperfections are not bad or wrong or failures.
They are the fingerprints of humanity and opportunities for learning, healing and growth.”
- Celebrate your Strengths
“We are much better collectors of our shortcomings than our strengths,” Many people fail to see their strengths and cling to antique scripts they carry, about their lack of worth.
Ryan Howes suggested making a similar list: “Make a list of all the hardships you’ve overcome, all the goals you’ve accomplished, all the connections you’ve made, and all the lives you’ve touched for the better. Keep it close by, review it frequently, and add to it often.”
- Be Mindful of Those You Surround Yourself With
What kinds of people do you surround yourself with? I suggest asking yourself these questions about the people in your life:
- Who speaks negatively to me?
- Who reinforces negative self-talk and beliefs?
- Why do I allow such people to hurt me?
- Are they just doing my dirty work because I’m not willing to choose a different reality?
- Grieve the Loss of Unrealized Dreams
“Many of our problems with self-acceptance come from our inability to reconcile who we are to the idealized dreams of our youth,” Ryan Howes said.
Maybe you dreamed about becoming an Olympic athlete or a multi-millionaire or staying married forever or having a big family, he said.
Whatever your dreams or goals, mourn that they didn’t come to pass, he said. Then “get back to being the best you possible.”
- Create a Support System
Distance yourself from people who bring you down. Instead, “Surround yourself with people who accept you and believe in you.”
- Forgive Yourself
Past regrets can prevent us from practising self-acceptance. Forgive yourself, and move on. It’s important to learn from the mistake, make efforts to grow, and accept that you can’t change the past.”
- Realize that Acceptance is not Resignation
Acceptance is letting go of the past and the things we cannot control. This way, “you can focus your energy on that which you can control, which is empowering.”
In fact, for some people accepting that they have a problem is the first step to making positive changes.
- Perform Charitable Acts
“When you sacrificially give to others, you see how your deeds are a positive influence on other lives.
It becomes more and more difficult to maintain the idea that you are no good when you see how your deeds help other people.”
- Be Kind to Yourself
Many people are hesitant to show even a shred of self-kindness because they see it as selfish or undeserved.
But the key to self-compassion is “to understand that weakness and frailty are part of the human experience.”
“Coming to accept who you are, involves loving yourself because of your flaws, not despite them.”Keep practising self-compassion along with the other suggestions.
“Most of us do not have direct communication with our deity of choice, yet we take the leap and trust that our God is true and real. The same goes for our self-acceptance.
- Fake it till you make it
Yes, you heard me right. You are permitted to fake it before you make it, and don’t you ever suffer from any imposter syndrome.
If you’re unconvinced that you’re a worthy person, keep the faith and keep at it.
In conclusion, self- acceptance is one of the most challenging areas of personal growth. However, when we focus on treating ourselves with kindness and compassion we become healthier, more creative, and far more effective in every area of life.
